Operation Wesker
by Prisonerksc2-303
Summary: The STARS team decides to throw their captain a surprise birthday party, leaving Chris to distract Wesker while they set up. Little do either men know what this day will bring whether good, bad, or just plain old disturbing. Co-written with Shadowno. AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello and welcome to Operation Wesker! This story will be written by me and Shadowno. He writes the outline and I just add a bunch of random stuff. So! Sit back, grab some popcorn, maybe a slurpee and enjoy the show! XDD**

**Disclaimer: Hell to the no! We do not own anything Resident Evil related! Okay, I lied, we have the games but nothing else. *Prisonerksc2-303 hides Wesker shrine* XDDD**

**Chapter 1**

The S.T.A.R.S. Office would soon be crowded with all the members having gathered for a briefing on their newest assignment. Once everyone arrived, Enrico Marini, leader of the Bravo Team and second in command of S.T.A.R.S., stood up.

"Everyone, as you know, tomorrow is a very special day. Starting at 6 a.m. sharp, we have a very important mission. Albert Wesker's birthday."

"So?" Joseph Frost asked.

"Well, we're going to throw a party for him," Enrico said.

"What? Why? What has Wesker ever done for us?" Joseph said, standing up.

Enrico rolled his eyes, before pulling his pistol out and shooting Joseph in the head.

"And now, once again, you're a useless character who died before the plot even started," Enrico said, holstering his weapon.

None of the other S.T.A.R.S. seemed to even notice the death of the B character, save Brad Vickers who did what he does best, and ran away crying like a pansy. Enrico decided to go on with the briefing.

"Now, most of us will stay here-"

"N-n-o...I...willnot....die...this...time!" Joseph said, attempting to stand up bullet wound and all.

Enrico pulled out his gun and shot Joseph, who fell to the floor once again, kissing the tiny puddle of blood he left from the first bullet. Still no one noticed the "B" character being put out of his own misery.

"Now! Where was I? Ah, yes. Most of us will stay here to set up for the party, but one of us-"

"I..refuse....to...die...you...bastard!" Joseph said, crawling on his hands and knees, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

"Really? OHRLLY, Joseph?" Enrico asked a little annoyed now. He grabbed Barry's prized Magnum and blasted away at Joseph not once, not twice, but three times. With each blast, poor Joseph was pushed back, wiping his own trail of bloody mess he left behind before.

"NOW! Is there anyone ELSE who wants to interrupt me?" Enrico shouted, waving the powerful Magnum in the air at the confused and very scared group of S.T.A.R.S. members.

"No one? How about you? On the floor with all the bullet holes in your body?" Captain Marini asked as the tip of his boot nudged Joseph to make sure the fool was dead.

"GOOD! Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted! Most of us will stay to set up, some will pick things up that will need to be picked up, but there is one task that is very important. One of us will have to pick up Albert in the morning, and show him a good time all day, bringing him to the party tomorrow night. Any volunteers?" the Captain asked.

Chris Redfield's hand shot up in the air, waving wildly like a five year old on a Kool Aid sugar high.

"Anyone else?" Enrico asked, trying to ignore Redfield.

"Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me, meee," Chris said, raising both his hands and pointing at himself.

"Jill, can you take care of that?" Enrico asked.

Chris Redfield's eyes twitched as they flicked back and forth between Jill and Enrico. Thinking quickly, he jumped to his feet, almost knocking Jill off of hers as she attempted to accept her assignment.

"She can't, she'll.... be....in the hospital!" Chris pratically yelled.

"Huh?" Jill asked, looking at him confused.

It was at this point that Chris kicked at her from the side, connecting with her knee and snapping it in two. Jill screamed, falling to the floor and writhing in pain.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" She cried, as he held her knee in pain.

"I'd be glad to take the assignment for her though, sir," Chris said, ignoring Jill, who now began pleading for someone to call an ambulance.

"Um, sure I guess..." Enrico said, staring at Chris like he was a madman.

"YES! Don't worry sir, I'll do you proud!" Chris said, pumping his fist into the air while everyone else looked at him eyes wide and mouths open including the very dead Joseph who refused to die! He pumped his fist so hard that he ended up knocking Barry, Rebecca, and Richard out without even knowing it.

"Well, I think that concludes our briefing. Dismissed! Oh, I need a drink," Captain Marini said, stepping on Joseph who howled in pain.

Singing to himself, Chris pratically skipped out of the room, delighted that his job tomorrow was to spend time with the hunk of sexiness known as Albert Wesker. His Weskipoo would have the best birthday ever tomorrow, that Chris would see to personally. He could pratically hear his words now.

_Chris, you sexy man you. Thank you so much for such a wonderful birthday. Would you like to spend the night? I need someone to rub lotion on my back, the Wesker inside Chris' head said, handing him a bottle of lotion._

Oh yes, that next day would be fun indeed.

**A/N: Well, thats chapter one of Operation Wesker XDD. Thanks so much for taking the time to read the craziness XDD. Many more laughs...well, IF it made you laugh in any way at all, lol. As I was saying, many more laughs to come so join us next time because believe me ladies and gentleman, you wont want to miss it, lol. Please be so kind to leave us a review of any kind! Cookies, anyone? ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Welcome back for another chapter of Operation Wesker! We would like to thank the following for reading, reviewing and faving:**

**Resident Roach Code Metallica, Grusnoid, death wish girl, Ultimolu, Divine Arion, Lime Rickey, MissPumpkinHead, Ibliswolf (Thanks! We would've replied to your review personally but you don't have an account?), cjjs, Vampuric Spider, rainfox88, Afro Spirit and Hina-86 (Thanks for the review in PM form, I know computers can be such beeotches! lol)**

**Thanks also to: Fangedfrog, Den of Woe and xx-AlbertWesker-xx for reading, alerting and faving.**

**Y'all are all too awesome! Hugs and lots of cookies to you all! Now, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, if we owned Resident Evil why would we be writing about it when we could just get other people to do the dirty work for us? So nooo, we do not own and we are so not getting paid for it! XDDD.**

"The right to be a god, that right is mine, and mine alone. With the right, I shall write for this world with my right hand because I have the right to be a God. And since its my right, I shall write. I shall write with my right hand because I, Albert Wesker, have the right! None of you fools can stop me now, Albert Wesker said, staring straight ahead at the face of a God, his face to be exact.

"The right to be a god, that right is now min- oomph!" Wesker was interrupted in the middle of his "Right to be a God" speech by a rock that was thrown at his head from the neighbor across the way. Wesker reached for his injection gun that had darts filled with lethal amounts of Uroboros. He aimed it directly at the culprit and fired.

"GOD! SHUT UP ALREADY! I HEAR THAT SHI-" the neighbor stopped suddenly, grabbing his neck and fell to the floor where his body exploded from the lethalness of the dart.

Wesker went back to what he was doing like nothing happened. He continued to stare for a moment at himself like a weirdo before continuing to shave.

His body, harder than a composite of steel, rock, and other hard things (like Chris' muscles) was shining in the dim bathroom from steamy shower that he had just finished. Despite the shower and shave, however, his glasses were welded to his face as usual. Even though he had many knicks and tiny cuts from the razor, still those glasses didn't come off. It would be so un-Wesker like. He'd just let the razor cuts heal themself since it only took seconds.  
He left the bathroom and walked over to the kitchen of his flat. Opening the fridge, he picked up the milk carton, and drank from it. A small dribble of the white liquid escaped his lips, and made its way out of the corner of his mouth and down his chin.

"Milk, it does a body good," Wesker said while posing and flexing his sculpted to perfection hard rock abs and arms.

Placing the carton back in the fridge, he wiped the milk from his chin, and walked over to the closet.

Pulling open the doors, he was met with the site of his long trench coat which looked to be made out of plastic leather snake skin, a black jumpsuit, and some black leather boots. It was labeled, Midnight in big bold letters.

"Later," he whispered, as he pushed them to the side, and pulled out his S.T.A.R.S. uniform.

In a montage fitting for a five star film, he got dressed, however, as he pull his shirt on, disaster struck. He watched in horror as his glasses fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

Remaining calm, he walked over to the phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.

"Your assistance is required," he said and then hang up.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Wesker walked over to it, opening it.

"What's up boss?" Joseph Frost asked, stepping inside.

Wesker moved like lightning, snapping his neck out of the frustration of his sunglasses breaking. He then drug Joseph, who was still alive, over to the window.

"Aw! Come on Wesker! Captain Marini killed me a couple times just before I came here," Joseph said, his head in an awkward position after Wesker had done the famous neckbreaker move that Chris stole in Resident Evil 5 from HUNK in Resident Evil 4.

Wesker then lifted Joseph by his shirt collar and pants, throwing him out the window.

"AAAAHH! Ooomph!" Joseph yelled after hitting the ground, looking like a human pancake with a broken neck on the side walk. He then tried to get up but was hit by a police cruiser.

**Inside the police cruiser**

"Its raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! Amen-"

BUUUMMPP

Chris stopped singing as he looked in his rearview mirror to see what he ran over.

"Hey Joseph! Can't give you a ride today buddy. You should really get that neck looked at," Chris yelled out his window as he parked his cruiser.

Joseph just laid there, moaning. He lifted his hand and weakly stuck his middle finger in Chris' direction.

**Meanwhile at Weskie's**

Wesker closed the window, walked over to his dresser, and pulled open the top drawer, revealing hundreds of pairs of identical sunglasses. Scanning over them with his eyes, he finally chose one, and closed the drawer. He placed the glasses on his face, and walked back over to the door. He opened it to leave and was surprised by what he found.

Chris had his back turned to the captain as he cupped his hand and blew into it to breath check himself. He took out a tiny can of minty freshness and sprayed it twice. It missed his mouth and went straight into Wesker's face.

"Hiya Alby... uh, cough cough, uh, Captain sir!" Chris Redfield said, saluting. I thought I would come pick you up and drive you to work sir, Chris said, standing on attention.

Wesker eyed him for a moment, kind of creeped out.

"Are you wearing," Wesker began, "sniffing the air. Perfume?"

Chris' eyes flew open, before he bolted down the hall, down the stairs, to the car, grabbed wet naps from the glove box, and wiped himself down to remove the perfume, before bolting back up the stairs.

"No sir, why do you ask?"

Wesker said nothing, instead just walking past him, and down the stairs.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last, hehe. Looks like Wesker will be making this a little harder for Chris huh, lol. Poor Joseph, will he ever get a break! XDD. And just what is everyone else up to? Find out next time! Don't forget to leave a review on the way out :P ... Pretty please? XD.**


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